Welcome to my

Puerto Ridiculous


Can I get a WEPA!?

Greetings. What’s goodington? What’s poppin? What’s crackin? SO MANY QUESTIONS! So little time.

In case you don’t know who the F I be, I’m Alana J, and I’m something like a phenomenon of a hot-ass mess.

I shouldn’t put that out into the universe, because they say whatever you put out you get back, right? So if I continue to call myself a hot-ass mess that’s the type of life I will continue manifesting for myself. GREAT! Got it. But really, is a life that’s so put together even worth trying to get your attention over? How interesting are rainbows, butterflies and unicorns, I mean, really? Well, unicorns are majestic AF, so they be dope, but in all reality, the struggle be one hell of an aphrodisiac.

Mishaps and f*ck-ups and bad sex, OH MY!

WAY more interesante than lions and tigers and bears…don’t front.

So I’m gonna share some of mine.

Well, not lions and tigers and bears ’cause I don’t have any, and even if I did I would definitely be keeping them all to myself to curtail the shenanigans.

THE POINT IS…I think a lot. Too much. So I’ve decided to do the responsible thing and make my musings public.

I have no idea what’s gonna happen, and that kinda turns me on.

Thanks for rockin with me 🙂